I couldn’t sleep the entire night prior to my first day of college. Being an outstation student and living far in terms of distance from the college, I had anxiety attacks about how am I going to travel to college. Whether I would make it to college on time or not? Whether or not will I board the right train? I have been in the same school since kindergarten so I didn’t have much of an idea about how to mingle in a new place. I asked my mother to come with me to the college and when she dropped me, I turned and looked at her the same way that I did on my first day of school. I felt uncomfortable, not being able to see her face daily. The good part was that I was going to stay with my sister.
The first day of college, I saw all new faces. Constant chattering, big smiles, a glimmer in their eyes. Exchanging numbers, asking names, continuous rotation of the face to gaze at the new faces. And let’s not lie, we all checked out the best dressed and style statements present in the class.
Then enters Lavanya Ma’am, Like every other newcomer, we hoped some fancy words. However, our smiling faces turned numb. No wonder, every student loves her the most. She throws reality in your face. She made us realize that learning doesn’t stop once you are in college. Her most motivating statement to me was once when I was just five minutes late for the class and I wasn’t allowed to enter. That day the trains that were running late. I explained to her the situation and she said, “Well darling, life is unfair”. I have always cribbed about things not going my way but that statement came to me as a realization to accept things as they are and move on.
My first year in college was difficult. I saw people around me bonding, going out, becoming roommates and most importantly being opinionated about things that mattered.
Well, I was nothing.
Forcing myself to talk to people, losing my self-confidence, giving up on everything, wary of what I spoke because I had a fear of being judged by others. As the saying goes, “Misery loves company.‟ and before the beginning of my second year of college, I lost my mother to cancer. I was unable to overcome my loss. I asked Dr. Colaco to grant me permission to join college a month after it began. Though known for her strictness, she was generous enough to grant me leave. She also kept in touch with me.
When I joined the college after the break, I was expecting my day to be an ordinary one and was hoping for it to just pass uneventfully. I was taken aback with the welcoming I received. My classmates hugged me and asked me how I was, there was a genuine effort to make me laugh, an initiative to talk to me and I found support in a few of my friends which are intact to this day. When I met Dr. Colaco, she greeted me so well, she asked me to come to her if I needed any help. I think for all students, a favorite teacher is one that remembers their names. Managing to ace the responsibility of handling the BMM department as well as remembering the names of all her students, she clearly succeeded in winning everyone’s heart.
From that time, my perspective about myself and my circumstances took a turn for the better. I felt a rage of confidence in me. Now, I knew I had to present myself confidently because this is the time. I had to amend myself in the areas where I was lagging. The change in me was evident. I didn’t wait for the opportunity instead I volunteered to gain one. I performed in street plays, I was a part of Kaleidoscope, enacted a teacher in the farewell, finally managed to dance at the stage of Bhabha Hall, and surprisingly managed to get my name off the black list!
Now, whenever I pass the college lane it reminds me of all those moments when I had managed to sneak in without the ID card (oops!), fighting with the cab driver when he says “Yahin utar jao andar nai lunga gaadi.”, cribbing about the 8am lecture, walking with a book in hand during exams (honestly, that was just me showing off).
I cannot get those days back but Sophia has changed me for the better and that change has stayed with me.
Anisha Kanungo
BMM Dept- Advertising - 2016
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